Sibling Relationships, How criminal behaviors affect relationship
Marlen Harrison
Indiana University of Pennsylvania
Research Writing
Email: kxbp@iup.edu
04/14/2010
Sibling Relationships, How criminal behaviors affect
Even though sibling relationships are very important, there is still a choice that can be made in whether to follow the footsteps of a sibling who makes criminal decisions that can ruin futures or use those situations as examples of what not to do. According to Bank, “Siblings have extensive opportunities to learn patterns of behaviors from each other may result in similarities in their time use.” (Shanahan Kim, Social Development pg.2) From experience, being a younger sibling, older siblings are supposed to be the best role models. In some cases that is not always true.
The reason for my research on sibling relationships between my brother and me was because it hits close to home. My brother and I have been very close for many years, and like any researcher, they would think that I would follow in his footsteps. My parents, Randy and Cris Ward use to believe so as well. When these incidents begun I use to think, “Why am I the only person being affected by his decisions”, “Why am I not making the same choices as him?” But, now I have realized that I am supposed to be the example for him, what he could be, and what he can look forward to if he decides to do the right thing. This is my chance for him to look up to me, and allow me to be the influence in his life the best way I can, just like he was for me growing up.
Being the younger sibling of two older brothers I tended to look for someone to guide me in the right direction and look up to as a role model. Through this search I gained a sibling relationship with my second oldest brother, Bryant Grayson Ward, who at one time had a great influence over my life. Being that my brother and I are one year and three weeks apart for the past 20 years, we confided in each other for advice as well as guidance. What exactly is a sibling relationship? A bond between two blood related siblings who provide a support system as well as comfort over the years. According to Goetting, “Siblings play vital roles in each other lives throughout the lifespan.” (Fowler, 2009 pg. 2). Sibling relationship to me is a bond that is very powerful because they help you make important decisions in situations, as well as give examples on what’s right and wrong. According to Ellen Singer, “The ties between siblings can provide a great support throughout our lives.” (Ellen, 2008 pg.1) Due to the decisions that my brother decided to make in the past three years, I have become his support system. Even though I had to take a step back because of how those decisions affected my life our bond became very strong over the years and my opinion of him will always be the same.
My brother, Bryant Grayson Ward and I were not always as close as we are now. I used to consider us as an enemy, fighting each other to plotting against each other. It was not until later on we realize how much we were almost the same in some ways. We played music together, sung songs together, supported each other at sporting events when our parents were at work. My parents would be considered hard working people, who have always worked for what they have today, owned home, a music studio, and three cars. Because of their hard working nature my brothers and I were left together most of the time to look after each other. Since my brother and I spent most of our time having each other backs, when it came to protecting each other from outsiders, we became very close, and our bond only grew stronger.
While growing up, it was normal to hear people state to my brother and me “We act just alike”. Because of that, I have always wondered what made me stop following in his footsteps over time and making the same decisions that he has made. According to research, I should have been in jail beside him making criminal decisions as well. “Siblings” extensive opportunities to learn patterns of behavior from each other may result in similarities in their time use” (Shanahan, 2007, p. 2). This research topic has become very important to me because our sibling relationships do not follow along to guidelines of how influential relationships should go according to researcher. I have become the supported emotional sibling, and my brother has become the deviant brother over time and because of our closeness, it has affected my life more than many can ever realize.
The theme of my research is using journal articles by different authors to allow the reader to understand exactly what a sibling relationship is. In order to do that, I would have to guide the reader through a series of different research that has been done over the years and what happened in this research. After the reader fully understands what sibling relationship is according to researchers, I want to guide the reader through my life as a subject of sibling relationships and show the reader why these findings are not correct in my case. How I managed to avoid the effects of the influence that my brother used to have on my life.
I have decided to conduct research on what a sibling relationship actually is. Due to the studies showing how close a bond two siblings can have, I have wondered how much of an impact, a criminal decision can actually affect one’s life. Depending on the circumstance can that impact change depending on the person? “Siblings of delinquent youths who abuse drugs are at high risk to use substance themselves due to shared environment” (Roland M Chapman, 2008 p. 2). From experience, that statement is not always true due to self-control. Since I’ve looked to him as an example of what not to do because of how substances affected his life, there became a chance that I would not be at a high risk.
“Some variables linked to family environment, such as birth order or sibling gender, seemed to be related to the quality of the relationship between siblings and the changes that these undergo during adolescence” (Oliva, A., & Arranz, E. 2005 p. 2). In my experience, when it came to my sibling relationship birth order played a very important role in my life. My brother, Bryant Grayson Ward, was the middle child and I was the youngest child. It was almost a duty for the older sibling to look after and protect the younger sibling. Due to the protectiveness that my brother had we have become very close because of the trust that I had to give to him to guarantee that I would always be looked after even when he’s gone. When we first moved to Johnstown, PA, during my fourth grade year the only person that I had to rely on was my brother. My brother was the person that I went to for advice and talked to about every little secret and vice versa. He became my best friend! “Female subjects felt closer to their siblings and that the sibling relationship was more important to them” (Pulakos, J. 1987. p.1).
When my brother and I reached middle school sports become a similarity that we began to share. “Participating in various recreational activities helps to maintain psychological closeness between siblings (van Volkom, M, 1990 pg.6). I always thought that it was very interesting to be able to cheer my brother on from the sidelines, while he was on the football field. “Younger subjects saw their relationships as characterized by more good feelings, helping each other out, and common activities” (Pulakos, J. 1987. p.1). I have always believed the more you have in common with another person the closer your bond can grow into something more. For me it did, and for many years his opinion mattered to me even when it came to what to wear to should I be dating this particular person? For a while even during high school, I was my brother’s shadow even though I did not participate in some social activities that he was involved in because I did not want my parents to be disappointed in me. At first I did keep his secrets for many years until now.
A sibling relationship from my experience, only grows stronger with time. Even though I may not have experienced some of the choices that he decided to partake in because of the effects that drugs had on him. My brother made sure that I was afraid and aware of the punishments that came along with those particular choices. One thing that I have learned these past six years since the delinquent behavior begun was that, “it is better to put your trust in your close sibling because they will always be that one person to carry you through it all as for your friends most will fail you.”
For many years I have always said, “Everyone has a choice in what they do. They will either make the right decision or the wrong decision.” In the lower part of Johnstown, PA since we began school there my brother, Bryant Grayson Ward would be categorized as being popular. “Adolescents rated by peers as very popular may be more likely to have engaged in minor deviant behaviors than unpopular teens, suggesting these behaviors may be valued by the peer group” (Larson, J., Whitton, S., Hauser, S., & Allen, J. 2007 p. 2). Since my brother was a very popular student and person, it was very easy for him to draw the attention of others. Unfortunately they began to lead him in the wrong direction, instead of him leading the crowd. Those ones that he called his friends were only there to lead him astray from a college scholarship for football, graduating high school on time with the rest of his class, and having a parent that was once proud of him.
“Problematic peer relationships in childhood have been linked to later adult delinquency” (Larson, J., Whitton, S., Hauser, S., & Allen, J. 2007 p. 3). For six years, I have always blamed my brother choices on his friends and his girlfriend. When it came to his friends, they were the ones that introduced him to marijuana knowing that at any time he could and did have an asthma attack. When my brother went to live with his girlfriend, Ally Jane she used my brother as a crutch. Three years later after leaving high school his senior year she became pregnant with my niece, Brayell Grayson Ward. When his girlfriend was released from her job and dropped out of community college my brother turned to the only ones that he felt could help him, his friends. Next thing we knew he was out selling illegal substance with the rest of his social group. At this time because of the circumstance, my brother allowed himself to be lead into something that he felt was his only option to support his family. Pride got in the way and he no longer asked for help from his family members.
According to research, I should have been doing drugs or at least selling illegal substance, because of the effect that it had on my brother and the warning that he gave me, smoking was not exactly an option for me. My brother used to be my role model until I saw the effect of all the years of drinking and smoking had on him. He used to be muscular, fit, and a very healthy young man, years of smoking and drinking can take a toll on your appearance and he begun to look old. The brother that I once looked up to when I was younger, as I look into his eyes he looked lost. And at that moment I told myself, “I would not allow myself to let anyone get me into trouble, and I would not be like my brother.” For a small amount of time my father believed that I would follow in the footsteps of him. But throughout time I made it to college and I am a third year student at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. From experience, I believe the only thing that has kept me grounded is to believe in myself and not allow other people’s opinions of me bring me down.
Some may believe that it’s society that made my brother, Bryant Grayson Ward become a criminal. I believe otherwise only because I know my brother more than anyone. My brother took this course of action because he wanted to make sure that his daughter could be well taken care of no matter the consequences. “Individuals from socioeconomically disadvantaged and deprived environments show a greater propensity to engage in crime” (Fergusson, D., Swain-Campbell, N., & Horwood, J. (2004) p.1). When my brother left home he no longer had a home. He stayed with my older brother, Brandon Grayson for a few months and was later kicked out. In 2007, he received his own place but because of his deviant behavior he later was released from that place as well. For two years, it was the same cycle, moving in with a person and later being kicked out. The job that my brother once had working as a telemarketer, he quit because he did not like it. As a sibling who has a close relationship with your older brother, it’s hard to watch one suffer and not being able to do anything about it. My heart went out for my brother and the only thing that I could say was, “It will be okay and when I get out of school I’ll have your back.” The longer time went by the more lost he became.
When my brother left, the people that he had chosen to hang around were ones who participated in the same deviant acts as him. For the longest time I once believed that he no longer had loyalty towards us, and he was forgetting all about me. “Tend to close themselves off from the other groups, only communicating with others like themselves” (Quensel, S., McArdle, 2002 p.15). I believe that in a way he felt as if he was being judged instead of receiving word of encouragement especially from our father, Cris Ward. Over two years our father did not even talk to him, and it took him five months to see my brother at the Cambria County Prison. My brother once stated to me, “The reason for me leaving is because I did not want my problems to come knocking at your door.” Even though over time problems eventually came, the Johnstown Police Department, my father was not too happy about that. The more our family begun to be buried deeper in his mess the more our father became upset about the situation.
Every summer when I was home from school, we would take a brother, sister picture. Between the years 2006 – 2008 the pictures became bleaker and my brother did not even look the same. October 2009 was the last time I saw my brother in person and to actually think about it I could cry. Even though my brother was wrong in the choices that he made I feel that he did what he felt was right at the time. I am disappointed in the decisions’ that he made because I know his potential. I know it was done with good intentions.
At first I had decided to do a phone interview as well as a questionnaire due to my brother, Bryant Grayson Ward’s circumstance at this time. Since my brother is in prison, I was unable to contact the warden of the Cambria County prison to see if it was possible to ask a few questions about our sibling relationships.
Questions
- Do you feel that your behavior had an effect on our relationship?
- Did you ever think that it would have an impact on my life?
- If you could do one thing different what would it be and why?
The phone interview with my brother I wanted to give him the chance to elaborate on the answers given to me. But, because I was unable to I decided to do an auto ethnography instead to show the reader my own perspective on how my relationship with my brother has changed and what sets me apart even though, according to research, I should be in the same predicament as my brother.
The first step that I decided to take in order to write my research paper was to just find out exactly what sibling relationships are. After finding out the meaning of that word and explaining it through my own experience as a subject of sibling relationships I found out other researcher’s errors in my opinion on the topic. The researcher that I had found talked about what can happen when you have a sibling relationship and you look to that sibling as an influence in your life. For example, when a juvenile has a younger sibling if they have a close relationship due to birth order that younger sibling could end up in the same predicament as his older sibling.
The second step that I took was to find more research on influence of friends and crime. The reason why is because I have always felt that my brothers choices were due to his social group. There was not much information that I found from that but the information that I did find backed up what I believed in. I have always believed that when he put his self around a certain group of people for a long period of time, he loses his identity in them. I believe that that is what happened with my brother.
In the last step I found information about why my brother hung out with the people that he did. I also did not find much information on that either but the ones that I did find helped me believe in my own hypothesis
The research that I did gather took about three weeks. It took more time to find information about sibling relationships because there has not been much research done on siblings and their relationships with their younger siblings. Even though they had a good amount of information on friends and crime, it was very hard to find exactly what I was looking for.
In conclusion, I believe that some researchers should have conducted long term studies while studying siblings. “The state of the literature on the longitudinal development of the quality of sibling relations has progressed in two directions: (b) an examination of the developmental changes in the sibling relationship focusing on factors specific to the dyad” (Howe,2001,p.2). Developmental changes can be influenced by environment, the people we hang out with, family teachings, and social surroundings. “Sibling relationship quality is also influenced by the nature of other relationships in the family and the general emotional milieu” (Modry-Mandell, 2007, p.2). Even though sibling relationships may follow many researcher observations in earlier years, it does not always mean it will stay the same over time.
Reference
Fergusson, D., Swain-Campbell, N., & Horwood, J. (2004). How does childhood economic disadvantage lead to crime?. Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry, 45(5), 956-966. doi:10.1111/j.1469-7610.2004.t01-1-00288.x.
Fowler, C. (2009). Motives for Sibling Communication Across the Lifespan. Communication Quarterly, 57(1), 51-66. doi:10.1080/01463370802662499.
Fritz, G. (2006). The importance of sibling relationships. Brown University Child & Adolescent Behavior Letter, 22(9), 8. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.
Howe, N., Aquan-Assee, J., & Bukowski, W. (2001). Predicting Sibling Relations Over Time: Synchrony Between Maternal Management Styles and Sibling Relationship Quality. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 47(1), 121-141. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database
Larson, J., Whitton, S., Hauser, S., & Allen, J. (2007). Being Close and Being Social: Peer Ratings of Distinct Aspects of Young Adult Social Competence. Journal of Personality Assessment, 89(2), 136-148. doi:10.1080/00223890701468501.
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Pulakos, J. (1987). Brothers and Sisters: Nature and Importance of the Adult Bond. Journal of Psychology, 121(5), 521. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.
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Quensel, S., McArdle, P., Brinkley, A., & Wiegersma, A. (2002). BROKEN HOME OR DRUG USING PEERS: “SIGNIFICANT RELATIONS”?. Journal of Drug Issues, 32(2), 467-489. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.
